Today I turned another corner. The past six months have been both challenging and rewarding. Yesterday I turned the keys of my parent's home over to a new owner. There were sixty years of memories in that small well kept house. I saw my mum's thumbprint in the decor. She loved a combination of the formal and English cottage styles.The bookkeeping showed my dad's careful hand.Today all of those material expressions of their lives are dispersed, some to family members, some to organizations who will see reuse of the items. Over this time, I've seen habits they had, unknown to me, but habits which are being carried on in my life. How is it that I handle stationery in the same way as my dad? My never ending use of pencils to figure out budget issues,figuring and re-figuring. using reams of paper and numerous pencils many of which are stubs. I love erasers too. There is never a shortage of writing instruments in this house. I was happy to see a couple anxious to settle into a new home and make their stamp visible.
Like all humans, I have my strengths, and my weaknesses. There was a need in me to handle this small estate in a manner acceptable to my parents, although they are both gone. That has been done. During the process though, many things weighed heavily on my mind and heart. I worried about the outcome of my management of the process more than I could have imagined. At one point I was having difficulty sleeping. That is definitely not like my norm. I borrowed all the possible problems that might happen. Thankfully none of them did. I think it was Mark Twain who said "I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened." I have heard that one from my husband, who has had experience with anxiety. I have had a small taste of what anxiety can do. It is fatiguing, and robs one of self confidence. One day I finally said to myself." Lynn this is not working. Let it go. God has a plan for everything. Let it work.Amazing things have happened. The property sold to folks who need a home, and they are the kind of people you would welcome into your neighborhood..
I'm feeling my lighthearted natural self reappearing little by little. Life is a precious gift, and I am so ready to be part of the greater whole. I am blessed to have life, reasonable health, a supportive, honest and dependable husband, great kids(they are grown with families of their own). and a few good friends.
I think I'll spend a good bit of my summer in our little cottage at the beach. That environment is good for my soul. It reenergises me, and helps me keep my head clear. I could watch the tides and the skies endlessly.
Of course there is my sewing which seems to me like an integral part of my being.I am far from the most skilled. and certainly lack the creative abilities of some of my friends, but the pleasure I derive from playing with my bits of cloth matches any I have encountered. This tool for communicating,(the web I mean), has opened up the workrooms of many sewing and quilting folk to me. It's great, so much fun seeing what we are all doing. Then you can surf and visit the fabric suppliers. It is a great way to pass free time.
I have been doing a bit of puddling with fabric bits, and the next time I write, I'll include them.
Tonight I just wanted to record some of my feelings as I have been turning this particular corner in life.